Peaked in High School

Hey there Joe with your cheesy pickup lines
You're the guy who wouldn't give me time
Back in high school when you thought were the bomb
Now I hear you're home living with your mom

You’re sitting at the local bar and hitting on me
Slurring your words and talking nonsensically
All I can think is "Wow, what a tool." 
You are just a guy who peaked in high school

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Oh yeah, you peaked in high school
Beer pong champion 1999
Wearing your letterman's jacket way past your prime
Clinging to your youth when you used to rule
Oh yeah, you peaked in high school

Back then you went through girls at record pace
An intimidating jock, you punched nerds in the face
Now those nerds are successful, well adjusted, grown men
You're used car salesman number 9 of only 10

Your eyes are all bloodshot, you’re a deadbeat dad
Looking shocked I won't go out with you, I'm almost feeling bad
But then I remember when you shoved me in the pool
Fully clothed.
And you laughed. 
Oh Yeah you peaked in high school
  
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You had rock hard abs and a killer smile
You were homecoming king at the top of the pile
A rich kid who thought the rules didn't apply
You would lie, steal and cheat and in the blink of an eye
Your daddy would bail you out
And you'd be back to getting high

You were given no repercussions for your many, many sins
Now you're sitting next to me with two double chins
Telling me I'm hot and you'd like to take me for a ride
On the Joe “love express," it's all I can do to not be snide

There was a time I would have accepted
My self-esteem was so damn low
But I'm wiser now and understand, that with guys like you, Joe
Surface charm and popularity always disappear
When adulthood comes your failings they become that much more clear

While I was an awkward teen and geeky
I'm a confident woman now
The tables have turned, I've got the power and how
You're sad and pathetic and acting like a fool
It's time you admitted that you peaked in high school

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